end of our journey

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It is with great regret that I write to let you know we had our final FET on Nov. 4 and it failed.


After doing some research, I asked the lab if we could "grow" our 3-day embryos to 5-day embryos to improve our chances. The lab director agreed that this could show who the best/healthiest embryos are.

We thawed all ten remaining embryos. Nine survived.

We "challenged" the nine 3-day embryos to 5 days. Two of them grew to blastocysts and and showed improved quality. One made it to the Morula stage (nearly blastocyst). So we transferred three.

We donated the six remaining embryos to our lab for research, with the blessing of the donors.

I was in a lot of pain during the 2ww. Our RE said that was HOPEFULLY a sign that my uterus was adjusting to the embryos implanting. I dreampt that all three split and I was pregnant with SIX!!!

Friday, Nov. 19 the sever pain landed me in the local ER where they determined I have a hemorrhagic cyst that is about 2.5" big. It is the least life-threatening type, but the most painful. Leave it to me. They think it might have been caused by the Lupron and/or hormones I was on, but there is really no way of knowing.

I was in bed for the next 10 days, but had to return to work on Monday, Nov. 29 due to lack of paid leave. The doctor's aren't sure how long this cyct will last. Yesterday the doctor told me "weeks" but it's already bee WEEKS! I am on pain medication.

Maybe the pain is a blessing, it's kept my mind off the fact that we are now faced with a life without children, something neither of us want.

We are brokenhearted beyond words. How can this be? 11+ years and we end up without any children? Life just seems so incredibly, incredibly unfair.

I have moved (my blog that is)

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I will no longer be posting anything new on this blog. I will leave it live for those wishing to learn about the adoption process since that's what my original intention was.

You may find me posting on my new blog called Beyond Infertility.

I will still receive email notification if you comment on this blog and I will respond as needed.

Thanks to everyone for your support and love during the life of this blog.

I wish you all the best.

Love,
Julie

Top Chef Host Gets New Addition To Family

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Top Chef host, Padma Lakshmi, gives birth to a baby girl. She gave birth to beautiful Krishna Thea Lakshmi in New York City on Saturday. The name of the father has not been publicly released.

This is the first child for Top Chef beauty. Lakshmi has suffered from endometriosis, a disease that can cause infertility.

Perhaps one of the Top Chef quick fire challenges will be to make baby food that will appeal to Krishna's appetite!

Brangelina's Reunion With Jon Voight

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Brangelina along with their family, were spotted walking through Venice on Sunday with Jon Voight. The bunch took a trip through the Italian city, since Jolie is about to start filming The Tourist.

Voight, who is Jolie's estranged father, has not been reunited with his daughter for a long time. Their relationship has been on the rocks since 2002. According to E Online, the 71-year-old actor said in an interview that Angelina had "serious mental problems" and was "trying to reach her to get help." His daughter was disheartened by these statements.

However, in 2007 she was looking for a reconciliation with her father. Although they did reunite late last year, this is the first time in awhile that they have been seen in public together.

New Vampire Weekend Video Features a Star-Studded Cast

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Indie-rock darlings Vampire Weekend topped the charts with second album Contra, and now they've got some famous friends to show off. The quirky tennis-themed video for "Giving Up the Gun" features the band's redheaded friend Jenny Murray competing against Jake Gyllenhaal and Joe Jonas, while Wu-Tang Clan member RZA serves as referee and Lil Jon gives her some backhand tips. Maybe you just have to watch this one:

Cast of 'Glee' to Perform at White House

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The year 2010 has only just begun, but it is shaping up to be the best year ever for Fox's hit show 'Glee.' The show has already won a SAG award and Emmy this season, so what could be an even higher honor you may ask? How about singing at the White House for the President and First family.

It turns out that along with the rest of America, Malia and Sasha Obama are huge fans of the musical comedy. Not only do the girls love the show, but so does the First Lady. Michelle Obama requested the cast to come sing at the White House Easter Egg Roll, and the cast couldn't be happier to accept.

Willy Wonka's Real-Life Golden Ticket Contest

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"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" is coming to life (sort of) as Nestle is launching a new line of Wonka chocolate, Wonka Exceptionals, which will feature a golden ticket contest. However, instead of winning a twisted tour of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, the winner will instead win a trip around the world worth $12,500!

Just like the story, there will be five tickets available. Each winner will be allowed three guests and will receive $12,500 to buy chocolate from all over the world, with a maximum of four consecutive destinations. Other prizes will also be available, including movie certificates, airline vouchers, Ticketmaster gift cards, and free chocolate.

Veruca Salts of the world, better get moving!